Sunday, August 14, 2011

On Turning 45 Years Old

Today is my 45th birthday.  Last night at midnight, my daughter and three of her friends came to me in my studio and sang "Happy Birthday" to me.  This morning I woke up to a handmade banner that Caroline and her friends had made and hung in the kitchen.

All three girls had made birthday cards for me, the coffee pot was set up, and the house was spotless.

My phone has been going nuts today with phone calls, text messages, and Facebook notifications from people wishing me "Happy Birthday".  This afternoon the girls are taking me to see the new movie, "The Help".  It's been a great day and it's only early afternoon.

A birthday is a good day to stop and reflect on life.  After 45 years, I feel as if I am learning a few things.  For example, now I go with the flow and don't get my panties in a wad over stupid things that are out of my control.  Now, there is the occasional driver that might get a few words from me, not that they can hear me, but still, they know.  And when standing behind the woman at Old Navy who wants the clerk to return 20 items, then ring them back up again with her two pair of flip flops just so she can get a discount while I stand behind her with ONE coffee mug, I now choose to simply, but loudly, set my coffee mug down and walk out.  She knows, too.

These days, I find myself calmer and slowing down.  I am taking time for me, quiet time, time to do nothing or anything.  If I want a glass of wine at 1:00 in the afternoon, then I will have one.  If I want to take a nap, I do.  If I want to stay up until 4am working in the studio, I do.

When my kids come to me with relationship problems, I tell them to just be themselves and quit worrying so much.  It will all work out.  "It is what it is" has become one of my key phrases that I use almost daily.

The majority of my time is spent in my studio creating.  Although I love the positive feedback I am getting, I no longer care if anyone else likes my work, because I like it and I'm doing this for me.  I'm doing what feels natural and right.  I've never been happier than right now.  Nurturing my creative side has breathed new life into me.  It brings calm to me.  I finally have that internal peace that I have been searching for. 

Next on my agenda is my health.  I'm already very healthy, there's just way too much of me right now.  If I want this good health to continue, I need a little less to work with if you know what I mean.  Starting tonight there will be 30 minute walks, every night.  There will be even more stretching and toning.  My diet is already fairly healthy, so it's just about affording healthy food.  Of course, there is the wine, but wine is good for you, especially red wine.  See, I'm on track!

So here I am, settled in a new home, two kids that make me proud every day, surrounded by people who love me, working in the studio like crazy, doing what I love, and finally just being one hundred percent "me".  I'm happier than I've been in years.  I'm looking forward to see what the next 45 years has to bring because the first 45 have been pretty great.


turquoisemoon said...

Happy Birthday!!! Now that you've written this, be sure to come back and read it again and again and again. Remember your words and breathe...ommmm...

Anonymous said...

I'm turning 45 in a month. I loved your post I think the 40's have been liberating. Like you I don't feel the need to have everyone like me! I will say I don't feel 45. I have to exercise now too. Crazy how your body messes with you ! Let's hear it for being 45 and fabulous !!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm turning 45 this Saturday and I feel fabulous!!
I loved your post!!

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